Friday, February 23, 2007
title:{it's on the 22nd}
22.02.2007
Dear you,
when I realized that I might have a thing for you,
do you know how hard I try not to like you?
so goddamn hard.
do you know how hard I try not to fall for you?
more than you can imagine.
falling for you is the last thing I want from us to be happened.
but what?
at the end, I do like you
and worse, I think I’m falling for you
you don’t believe me, do you?
yeah. neither do i.
it’s sad that I don't trust you.
and I wonder why I don’t trust you
not that I don't want to try or something
it’s just, every time I start to trust you, you ruin it
then i start to think that maybe i really can’t trust you
and lately, it hurts you know
when you say some things and they screw it all
yet, I’m afraid things will go wrong
I know you still have a thing to the girl,
though you said you don’t.
and I don't wanna be just the other girl
coz it will hurt me more
and im tired of being hurt
i had enuff
besides all that, I’m still not sure enuff with my own feeling.
I don't wanna hurt you,
that's why I don't wanna rush things
I just wanna make sure, that I really really like you
really care about you
really wanna be with you
for now..
I just wanna believe that things will gonna b just fine
one day we can be together
and be happy
no tears, no fight
no goodbye
Never gonna be the same ..
23.2.07;
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007
title:{}
13.51
...
14.03
..
...
how many what if do you have in mind for every state you're in?
me, i have A LOT.
yeah. countless.
and i just can't get rid of them.
what if this happens?
what if that happens?
what if he does this?
what if he does that?
what if I'm this?
what if I'm that?
what if this goes wrong?
what if that goes wrong?
...
and a lot more.
i don't know if it comes from my brain
or my heart
which one do you think?
brain? or heart?
I'll go with brain.
without any doubt.
are those what ifs a denial?
or self-defense?
everytime my heart comes up with something
or feels something
my brain starts producing all those what ifs
sounds like im too afraid to face the truth
too afraid to accept
too afraid to admit
yeah. maybe you are.
and i HATE myself for that.
you should. but hey,
maybe you just don't want to admit it.
you're not afraid.
you just don't want to.
it's different, isn't it?
who knows, dear. who knows.
hey look! he's being nice to me! haha. weird huh? xD~
i'm done here.
"I was worried I wouldn't be enough for you. That's why I lied. That's what I'm afraid of. Not being enough. Not good enough. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough."
-Brooke Davis, OTH
21.2.07;
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Sunday, February 18, 2007
title:{}
Happy
Chinese New Year!
wishes you
Joy, Harmony, and Good Fortune
18.2.07;
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Tuesday, February 13, 2007
title:{}
Love isn't alwaysas you see it oras you dream itshould be
dia bilang,
waktunya ga tepat
orangnya juga ga tepat
is there any perfect time to fall in love?
or maybe perfect place?
is it supposed to be with the right person?
oh please, define what right person is.
sejak kapan ada waktu yang tepat buat suka sama seseorang?
dan please, ga juga pernah ada orang yg tepat.
love doesn't know places
love doesn't know what perfect time means
bahkan tempatnya pun ngga tepat
kenapa ya, everything feels wrong
ah, cinta ga kenal tempat kok.
yang penting kan feelingnya itu sendiri.
the feeling of falling in love is perfect
so, love itself doesn't have to be perfect
nothing's perfect, dear.
just feel it.
13.2.07;
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Sunday, February 11, 2007
title:{}
saya sembuh!!!
11.2.07;
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Thursday, February 08, 2007
title:{}
I got my superb headache
and it wont go no matter what I do
damn
non-spicy food
non-fried-food
chicken-porridge
egg-noodle
chicken-soup
corn-soup
egg-soup
im sick of them
yesterday my flatmate brought me pizza
and guess what?
it’s tasteless
and I was craving for dominos all night
shite
lemonjuicewithhotwater
instead of coffee
my brain’s craving for caffeine more than you can imagine
3weeks (and counting) without caffeine?
omg
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again
drugs don't work - the verve
8.2.07;
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Tuesday, February 06, 2007
title:{}
I know it’s hard for you to understand me
and it’s not easy to take me as I am
I also know that it’s difficult for you to be in your position
but hey, you’ve tried your best
haven’t you?
Me
I may be stubborn,
and selfish,
and lazy,
and whatever
but that’s me!
and I’m just trying to live my life here.
so, where are we?
what is our purpose?
what are you trying to say?
what am I trying to say?
do you understand me?
or at least, try to understand me?
what about me then?
can I understand you?
so far I know,
I’ve been trying so hard to understand you
I’ve done my best pleasing you.
can’t you see?
I’m doing what you told me to
even if it’s something that I don’t like
everything feels stiff around you
I can say nothing to you
I can’t share anything
I can’t even be myself when I’m with you
but that’s okay
I’ll survive
I’m here now
stronger
and tougher
that’s somehow because of you
hard to admit though
but that’s the truth
I know you love me
and you care about me, a lot
and I love you back,
even though maybe not as much
Thank you
for everything you’ve done for me
Thank you Thank you
Thank you
for trying to understand me
Thank you
for being there for me, most of the time.
6.2.07;
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Friday, February 02, 2007
title:{}
Akhir adalah awal
Tamat bukan kiamat
Kemana mereka pergi?
Bukankah akan ada buku baru yang siap ditulisi?
Dirimu gelap
Bayangmu suram
Dimana terangmu?
Bukakan pintumu,
karna awal sudah menunggu
2.2.07;
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Thursday, February 01, 2007
title:{}
1 bulan lewat begitu saja
bertambah lagi jumlah deretan bulan-bulan itu
kemana perginya hari-hari yg dulu?
kemana perginya rasa itu?
atau lebih tepatnya,
kemana perginya dirimu?
hmm..
apakah harus dipertanyakan?
toh aku tau dimana dirimu
aku cuma tidak tau,
dimana hatimu saat ini.
heiii..
lihat aku
datang kepadaku
belum cukupkah smua yang kulakukan selama ini?
belum lelahkah kamu mencari?
belum puaskah kamu menikmati yg ada di luar sana?
atau,
aku yang terlalu membosankan?
aku yang tidak menarik?
aku yang tidak tau apa yang kamu cari?
aku yang tidak membuatmu senang?
ntahlah..
coba kamu jelaskan
supaya aku tau
supaya aku mengerti
mungkin tidak sekarang
besok mungkin?
atau lusa?
bulan depan?
atau tunggu pergantian tahun baru?
...
belum saatnya aku tau
atau mungkin,
lebih baik aku tidak pernah tau
ya..
mungkin lebih baik begitu
tidak perlu tau
hei kamu,
aku masih akan tetap disini
entah untuk berapa lama lagi
yang jelas, aku belum mampu pergi
atau tidak mau pergi mungkin?
ntahlah..
bersediakah kamu untuk mampir?
pintuku selalu terbuka
kalau-kalau kamu mau datang
1.2.07;
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